indifference?

okay... maybe it's coz it's been so long since YLTC... i had left the sad things behind.

maybe i've forgotten. it's sad, to forget. to let go.

some say it's a good thing, that i am able to move on. that i can put things behind me so easily.

i think it's incompassionate. it's indifference. it's irresponsibility.

i feel so superficial now.

haha. it's confusing. 30th sea chiefs will always remember talking about sea expedition, disappointed, sad, tired and incoherent, on the steps outside the canteen. but i remember not the detailed sad contents.

alvin said "they used my towel as a rag for kitchen duty."

guess different things impacted different people.

so, to all nelchaenens who may stumble upon this obscure blog:

incoherent mumbling, tears tumbling
tired hand fumbling to place
the furniture of dorms and all that space
we occupied for days;

reminiscent of those 6 days now a year past.

we see in them, ourselves
shadows pictures once shelved upset
and spilt on the ground as we peer
thru the past year

and think of the roads we took
the forks at which we stray
and many lost sight
as our commonalities waned

and it took so much more,
for each of us to come back again
even if for a short while
we relived our (past, present and to be) bondedness
and came back in force, as one

if only for the short 4 and a half days

and though we cry, to think it's over
what we've put in
each day, every tear,
down to the last lecture we spent
nodding off to the lulling drones

it's hard to forget, it's sad to let go.
but keep in mind
cherish the cheer, leave the sorrow
and always

always remember the people
the good fun times we shared
and let that be the support
we grow on.

for even as days pass
after YL, thru to graduation
at heart, be reminded
of the day when we stood in a circle
and cried tears, not of sadness, but of gratification
that we should all still stand together
as one

that day, 12 months and 2 days ago.