random thoughts... it's OUR 1/2 anniversary^_^

precamps are over, somehow i feel a sense of temporary relief. at the same time, there's this inexplicable anxiety that i forgot some stuff along the way. hm... dunno. trying to get past it. it seems everyone else in oac is more busy than ever, but i don't seem to be affected.

i just realised, i'm more stressed out by the fact that i don't have time, than by the fact that i have things undone. it feels good, to know that finally, my afternoons are getting freed up... but only for like, today larh. then i haven't even started packing for YLTC. goodness knows when i'll have tie for that. midnight today? or midnight tml? haha.

bought a new pair of specs yesterday. damn funky. haha. (oh i heard that funky had some relations to sex too... it seems everything has a relation to sex these days.) oh yeah, i was saying. it's dark maroon! and it's squar-ish. and i'm gonna wear it for my performance day after tomorrow. hm... doesn't feel like it's so soon. feel very detached le, ever since my last breakdown about not having enough time, i thnk i've detached myself reflexively. let's just put it this way, the more indifferent you are, the easier it gets. things get done, your emotions are not so invloved, and you don't get upset as easily.

i just came to a new realisation. i have a life outside of oac, and if you can't understand that i have deeper commitments elsewhere, i guess its not really gonna matter, right? hm. that came out wrong. dunno larh. i do love oac and everything, but... erm. dunno how to say la.

OH! i got a hair trim yesterday too! hair's a lot thinner now. which rocks, coz the weight is gone, and its so much easier to keep it clean. no need to even comb lor. haha. perfect for camp.

precamps are officially over, we're all preparing for the big thing. the sea chiefs' job this year is a lot a lot lighter, coz we're not staying over at ECP you see, so feel a bit slack now... hm. maybe things will work themselves out again? *pray* haha, what kind of slack attitude is this. think the OAC pple will loathe me for thinking like this. but i guess we should take on a lighter point of view. take a step back, catch a breather. things will look so much more organised. if you zoom all the way in to the details, you'll be stressed out by all the nitty-bitty problems. not saying that you shouldn't be worrying about them, but dont keep going at them for such a long stretch of time. it makes you depressed. makes you think that yltc is nothing but problems and imperfections. you fail to see the better side ofthings and yltc becomes a worrisome event.

which is not what we want. this yltc is giong to be different from last year, but in essence, it's the same thing. we're going thru what we never did, this time, as instructors. it's our camp as much as theirs. why should we disallow ourselves the fun of it all? i really really think that's when sea ex comes in. because it's a very very simple expedition. kayak, beach up for lunch, kayak some more. not much logistics involved, no checkpoints, no detailed schedule, no worries. just an activity that all of us really enjoy.

which is why i always wanted to be a sea chief. the water has this amazing effect of temporarily removing all your troubles. all you want to do is to eat oranges and paddle around, bask in the sun, and see the trainees grow.

after swearing off the sweeper marker from OBS, i realised i made myself the sweeper again this year. coz alvin's definitely leading, wei leong might have to ferry amy, then leave me to sweep. hope this batch is better than the OBS one... but sweeper, to be honest is rather boring. you see the same old faces again and again. hm...

metas rock! they have awesome spirit man. but their zha ma all cannot cannot cannot make it =_="

okay. now with all the random thoughts out of the way...

today is OUR 1/2 anniversary ^_^

its been half a dozen months
26 weeks, 180 days, 4320 hours
and countless seconds spent waiting
for that one moment when
i glance at you and you

smile.

that one heartfelt lopsided grin
or hearty laugh
with it the light cuff
on my shoulder
and i am reminded of the one thing
i never want you to lose.

six months flew past
so swift, so fast
yet as we look back
hey, we've been thru quite some stuff,
tempers lost, silent embraces, with lots of fluff
in between
all the evenings just chatting
in the playground, like we are
once again kids, carefree in the presence
of the sweet scent of sunny hillsides

and for all the missing
the support, the tissues and sleeves offered
when i'm down
the cheer, the joy, the laughter
the LOVE,

thank you my dear.
for the past half a year ^_^

*huggles*

haha, my own feeble attempt at what you used to always do. maybe even now. hope you get to read this ^_^ like before i go off for camp (maybe i'll accidentally on purpose tell you i've blogged) cheers!

smile always.