lock ALERT!!!

today... lots of things happened. can't even begin to complain.

i realise i've stopped blogging about school. it's all YLTC. lol. i'm laughing, but it's seriously not funny. schoolwork's like, going down the drain and disappearing into oblivion. PAYCO is also getting neglected...

"why not let's do it this way... msg me when you're free to come down."

i was so so devastated when i read this in the morning... what happened to the angela who would go for practice even thruout her o levels? what happened to the angela who prided herself on her awesome attendance...? sometimes, i just feel so so so disgusted at myself *sobs*

the stupid school admin just cut YLTC from 6 days to 4.5 days. like what the FUCK! and they came up with some redundant committee to organise leadership courses and workshops to instil leadership qualities in the students... WORKSHOPS, bah. and what? oh, there may not be any YLTC next year. fuck lar. upsetting leh. i swear they're out to spite us.

it's like, all of a sudden, land ex is immediately after sea ex, trainees ain't staying over at ECP after sea ex, ms YL is held at ubin, and a campfire's not going to be the last event of a camp. and YL's gonna end on some obscure afternoon. everything's going wrong. pple are upset, shiwei's solemn, saykai's angry, and all of us are helpless.

and caught helpless. late.

now lock's threatening to cancel land ex. i sincerely, completely, desperately pray and hope that we can dissuade him from that idea tml morning.

and somehow, i feel so much like redeeming myself, for all the irresponsibility i displayed... but something in between will go wrong. and nothing gets done, again. i don't really know much anymore.

today's trip to bukit timah hill was good, for me. it took my mind off lots of things. but it horribly reminded me of the disturbingly low trainee count this year. i wonder how the enrolment for OAC will be like, this year. i feel upset, whenever i see any 1-man roll calls. today was the second last pre-camp. and guess what, two whole groups were missing during mass roll-call.

dunno larh. damn tired now. returning home later and later... a brief summary. i reached home at 12 am in the morning, and i have to set off at 6am.

i can't even blog properly now. just splashes of thoughts that flash randomly across my head. i'll give a more detailed account when i have the time, i guess...